What type of stress should couples avoid discussing during the "Stress-Reducing Conversation" exercise?

During the "Stress-Reducing Conversation" exercise, couples should avoid discussing stress within the relationship itself. This approach is key because the purpose of this exercise is to create a supportive environment where each partner can share external stresses without the situation escalating into conflict or further stress.

Discussing stress related to the relationship can lead to defensiveness, criticism, or even contempt, which counteracts the exercise’s goal of fostering understanding and connection. The exercise is intended to help partners support each other by sharing personal stresses that come from external sources, which helps to strengthen their bond.

In contrast, discussing stresses related to their children, politics, or religion, and even chronic stress, can still allow partners to engage in a constructive conversation, as these topics often open the door to mutual support and empathy without directly addressing potential relationship conflicts. By keeping the focus on external stressors, couples can build resilience and maintain a positive connection during this vulnerable sharing.