What role does physiological self-soothing play in a distressed relationship?

Physiological self-soothing plays a crucial role in a distressed relationship by acting as an antidote to stonewalling. Stonewalling refers to a partner withdrawing from interaction during conflict, which can lead to a breakdown in communication and heightened emotional distress. When one partner becomes overwhelmed or flooded by emotions, it can trigger a fight-or-flight response that results in shutting down or disengaging.

By practicing physiological self-soothing techniques, individuals can calm themselves and regain emotional regulation. This helps prevent stonewalling by promoting a sense of safety and stability in the relationship. As partners learn to soothe themselves physiologically—through deep breathing, mindfulness, or other calming practices—they can create the conditions necessary to re-engage in constructive dialogue and enhance emotional connection instead of withdrawing. This process is essential in navigating conflicts and fostering healthier communication patterns, thus allowing for more productive interactions even during emotionally charged situations.