What is the difference between "response to bids" and "turning away"?

The distinction between "response to bids" and "turning away" is crucial in understanding how couples interact and support each other. When discussing "response to bids," it refers to the act of acknowledging and engaging with a partner's attempt to connect, whether that is through a request for attention, affection, or assistance. This engagement signifies appreciation and fosters intimacy within the relationship, creating a positive emotional connection.

In contrast, "turning away" involves a lack of response or an active disengagement from the partner’s bid for connection. This might manifest as ignoring or dismissing the partner's feelings or requests. When one partner turns away from the other’s bids, it can lead to feelings of disconnection and withdrawal, which over time can negatively impact the relationship's health.

Understanding this difference is fundamental in Gottman's couples therapy, aiming to cultivate responsive communication patterns that promote deeper emotional bonds between partners. Thus, recognizing an engaged response as a nurturing behavior versus ignoring a partner's request shows the significance of these interactions in the context of relationship dynamics.