What is a main strategy for overcoming defensiveness?

Taking responsibility for one's part in the conflict is a key strategy for overcoming defensiveness. When individuals acknowledge their role in a disagreement, it helps to de-escalate the situation and fosters a more constructive dialogue. This acknowledgment not only shows the partner that one is willing to engage openly, but it also aids in creating an environment where both parties feel safe to express their feelings and concerns. By owning up to one’s contributions to the conflict, partners can shift the focus from blame to problem-solving, paving the way for mutual understanding and connection.

In contrast, ignoring the issue can lead to unresolved feelings and persistent resentment, which can worsen the conflict over time. Counter-attacking with one's own grievances typically escalates the situation and exacerbates defensiveness, as it diverts attention from the original concern. Blaming the other partner for disagreements reinforces a cycle of negativity and can create a hostile atmosphere, making it difficult for effective communication to take place.