What area should the therapist focus on with a couple struggling to process failed bids for connection?

Focusing on enhancing the couple's friendship is vital for addressing difficulties in processing failed bids for connection. In Gottman’s method, friendship forms the foundation of a healthy relationship. A strong friendship promotes understanding, support, and intimacy, making it easier for partners to communicate their needs and respond positively to each other’s bids for connection.

When couples enhance their friendship, they build emotional safety and trust, allowing them to navigate the challenges of failed bids more effectively. Improved friendship leads to greater empathy and willingness to engage, enabling partners to recognize and respond to each other’s attempts at connection in a more constructive manner.

While aspects like removing the Four Horsemen, making successful repair attempts, and practicing self-soothing are important components of relationship health, they function better when a solid friendship is in place. Strengthening the bond between partners enables them to handle conflicts and misunderstandings with more resilience and compassion.