What approach does Gottman recommend for expressing needs in a relationship?

Gottman's approach emphasizes the importance of clear and respectful communication when expressing needs in a relationship. This involves articulating one’s desires and feelings in a way that fosters understanding and minimizes defensiveness. By being direct yet respectful, partners can promote an open dialogue, ensuring that both individuals feel heard and validated. This method encourages vulnerability and honesty, which are essential for building trust and intimacy in the relationship.

In contrast, other approaches, such as direct criticism, use indirect hints, or silence, can lead to misunderstandings or escalating conflicts. Direct criticism often places blame on the partner, making them defensive rather than receptive. Indirect hints might lead to confusion, as partners may not fully understand what is being asked of them. Silence can create emotional distance and may leave partners guessing about each other's needs, hindering effective communication. Therefore, clear and respectful expression of needs is the healthiest and most constructive way to navigate relationship dynamics.