In the "Gottman-Rapoport Intervention", what must the listener do first before responding?

The "Gottman-Rapoport Intervention" emphasizes the importance of validating the speaker's perspective and ensuring mutual understanding before any further dialogue can take place. The listener’s first task is to summarize their understanding of the speaker’s message. This involves articulating what the speaker has expressed in a way that the speaker feels accurately reflects their thoughts and feelings.

This summarization process is crucial because it demonstrates attentive listening and respect for the speaker's viewpoint, which can help to defuse potential defensiveness and foster an open, constructive conversation. When the listener successfully summarizes to the speaker’s satisfaction, it creates a shared foundation from which to navigate any conflicts or disagreements that may arise.

In contrast, sharing notes and pointing out issues like the Four Horsemen would not be appropriate at this initial stage, as these actions could divert attention from genuinely understanding the speaker's position. Listing wishes and explaining how to grant them would also jump ahead in the dialogue too quickly, bypassing the critical step of ensuring that the listener comprehends and acknowledges the speaker's concerns. Thus, summarizing effectively becomes the foundational step in the negotiation of understanding within the Gottman-Rapoport Intervention.