In Gottman’s framework, what is the danger of “accumulating grievances”?

Accumulating grievances within Gottman’s framework signifies the gathering of unresolved issues, complaints, and frustrations over time. When these grievances are not promptly addressed, they can stack up and create a heavy emotional burden within the relationship. This accumulation leads to a cycle of resentment and can create a barrier to effective communication and intimacy between partners.

As unresolved issues linger, they often escalate conflicts, making it increasingly difficult for a couple to engage in constructive dialogue. The tendency to hold onto these grievances can result in feelings of bitterness and disconnection, which can eventually erode the foundation of trust and affection that is critical for a healthy relationship. Thus, the danger lies in how these unresolved grievances foster an environment where love is overshadowed by hurt, making resolution and healing challenging.