How should the therapist proceed when a contemptuous statement is made by one partner towards the other?

When a contemptuous statement is made by one partner towards the other, it is essential for the therapist to address the contempt directly and communicate that such behavior is unacceptable. Contempt is one of the Four Horsemen identified by John Gottman, which is a significant predictor of relationship breakdown. It often manifests as disrespect, mockery, or name-calling, and can deeply harm the emotional bond between partners.

Addressing contempt allows the therapist to help the couple recognize the destructive nature of this behavior. By bringing attention to it, the therapist can encourage the offending partner to reflect on their feelings and behaviors, fostering accountability and promoting healthier communication patterns. This intervention sets a standard for respect and creates a safe space for both partners to express their feelings without derision or contemptuous remarks.

The other approaches might not effectively tackle the harmful consequences of contempt. Probing deeper into the emotions behind contempt might risk validating the behavior rather than addressing its impact. Waiting to see if the other partner responds with defensiveness does not actively confront the issue at hand and may allow the contempt to persist. Finally, explaining the importance of self-soothing neglects the immediate need to address unacceptable behavior, which could lead to further escalation of tensions and unresolved issues. Thus, by addressing the