During conflict resolution, what is the first step a couple should take according to Gottman's Method?

In the context of Gottman's Method, addressing the Four Horsemen is a critical step in conflict resolution because these negative communication patterns—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—can escalate conflicts and erode the foundation of a relationship. Recognizing and addressing these patterns helps couples stop destructive behaviors, paving the way for healthier communication and conflict resolution.

By focusing on the Four Horsemen first, couples can begin to create a safer environment for discussion. This foundational step is essential before moving on to other aspects such as identifying the underlying issue, engaging in active listening, or developing a shared meaning, which can be more effective once the negative interaction patterns have been minimized. Addressing the Four Horsemen sets the stage for more constructive discussions and deeper resolutions.